Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's always time for handjobs
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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