So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
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Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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