my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
