I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
