So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
