so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
