so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
