Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
