Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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