Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
