I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we're making bets on your personal life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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