Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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