The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I would fuck him just for his dog
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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