i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
