Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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