to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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