He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
