It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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