you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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