I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
