he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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