i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
