He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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