Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
