At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize