Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I skipped work to stalk him.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
