I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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