you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
