I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
