Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
