During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
