well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
