i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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