im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You are a genius and a whore.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
