sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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