i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
