Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize