I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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