You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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