I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
