she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
