Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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