I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
