D3 body, D1 cock
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
