you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need to sanitize my soul.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
