Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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