Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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