I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
