Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is Oprah even human
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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