Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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