i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
