im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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