If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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