Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize