Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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