On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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