On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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