I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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