he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
