I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
