She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
