I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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