She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
