I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
